At that “wondering why” point once again

I can’t add a photo to this blog, because mine are gone, hopefully not forever.  The “stock” photos Microsoft supplies are junk.  My computer hard drive bit the dust. The shop that I took it to ran a check program on it. The hard drive failed.  WHY it failed, no one checked. They put in a new drive.  I have my original drive in hand. I hope and pray that a fellow I know who is a computer tech can coax the info out of it.  I have photos stored on 2 online sites.  Free sites. Free is good as long as it works out.  I tried one of the sites. It does not recognize me.  I tried my usb mass storage and it says it is empty.  I have used it before. I know how to use it. And it says it is empty.  I am beginning to get a bad feeling about this.  Now I have my computer here, and it is blank. It has open office instead of Microsoft Word or even MS Works.  I am adrift.  I am wondering if my thousands and thousands of photos are cast to the electronic wind never to be seen again.  Notes in a different folder than my “writing” folder are gone I realized.  For new projects. Once I mellow out, I know I can reconstruct that.  Agh.

Those photos and documents are out there somewhere in cyberspace.   Since I can’t really use a pen to write anymore, due to the condition of my hands and inability to hold a pen – I neglected to pain myself and write down the names of the sites.  And the login info.  Isn’t that just so totally me?  Just shaking my head at this point.  My quest in life has become taking care of others to the exclusion of my own self in all ways.  Kicking myself now, because what I need matters. It MATTERS.  I just have to convince myself that I do matter is all.

So, I hope to hear back from the computer tech.  He still has the same phone number and I told a friend I nearly fainted when I heard his voice on the voicemail. He got info off my son’s hard drive at one point. I know he can do it, but wish I knew IF it can be done. As always it is the not knowing and the waiting that is killing me.

I did change the header.  Not like a Great Blue Heron is Under the Lilac trees though.  I do however have the whole series of photographs from that vacation on my laptop. So that is something.  Aghhhhhhhhhh.

The weather here cooled off some.  The smoke is back, but not choking us like it did for what seemed like weeks.  For that I am thankful.  Looking for the good.

I am thankful to be typing now.  The words clog up in my head and I need to get them out.  I have been in a dark place today,  and I hope I can get things straightened out soon.  Like I said, it is the not knowing that is the worst.  If my memory wasn’t getting flaky, then things like wondering what emails I still had to answer when the lights went out and the hard drive went away would not bug me.  I have lost everyones email contact just FYI.  If you need me, write to me please.  I however don’t anticipate a flood of mail, as I unplugged pretty much totally for several weeks and no one apparently noticed. Not really keeping my “brand” out there am I Bob?  Sigh.

Have a good holiday tomorrow people, drive safely and tell those who matter you love them! Life changing events happen every day………..