Before you begin reading, know that this topic gave me fits.  The blog is choppy, and I edited/revised it 14 times.  I give up, here it is.

My friend Carol posted a blog on that topic.  What do YOU want to accomplish before you pass to that next stage, from this world to the next stop?  Whatever it is, however you believe doesn’t matter.  What do you want to get done in the here and now of this life?

I saw a quote recently, and I am sorry to say I don’t remember where.  It said “there are no luggage racks on a hearse”  How true!  We can’t take any of the accumulated “stuff” or $$ with us once we are done breathing.  So, what do you want to get done while you are here?

That is a big question for me actually.  A terribly difficult one really.  I don’t do well thinking of what I want.  I find things for other people.  I take care of others, people, animals.  I just said goodbye to a night hawk bird.  It lived here for maybe 7 weeks and finally was strong enough to fly away.  Most amazing.  The coolest bird I have EVER seen.  I didn’t even know what it was when I got it.  Now I know lots! I seem to have lost the ability to really care about material things.  Not that there isn’t a lot of stuff around, but what really matters? Truly matters?  **Sigh**

But back to the bucket list thing.  From the second I could drive away, when I got my driver’s license I was GONE!  Off I went in my 1961 VW bus.  Off to the racetrack I went, working at Santa Anita, Hollywood Park and Del Mar.  Ah those were the days.  I could move what little I owned in my bus.  I could LIVE in my bus for that matter, and would have if I had needed to.  My bus and I had many adventures, and we lived to tell about it.  Great fun.  Hmm. Maybe I did all my bucket list stuff before I got to be this age.

I was just responsible for me back then.  I worked where I wanted, I supported myself.  I happily worked for some of the best trainers in the US.  Then I got sidetracked, by my first love reappearing in my life.  We had a son.  I discovered a sad truth, about my husband, while I was pregnant that I didn’t know what an alcoholic was.  Until then.  I likely should have cut and run and never looked back.  But I didn’t.  So, for the last 20+ years I have tended to other people.  Took care of Pop, took care of my husband until he passed away.  I should note he died sober.  Liver failure, caused by being accidentally poisoned by a copper wood preservative product.  Amazing, only his luck as he would say. Anyway,  Mom has had a number of health issues.  I have my own issues, doesn’t everyone?  But putting myself first has not been one of those issues for many many years.

It was difficult to even say that I was writing.  To tell anyone. Now that I have, I have met some absolutely wonderful, supportive people.  No, I am not published yet, but I will be.  No doubt.  It is the craft I need to refine.  I need to learn proper punctuation.  I know that.  It is like having two different colored socks on, hidden by your slacks.  You know it is there, just out-of-order, but not many people point it out.  YET.  I have got to get that resolved.

As far as a bucket list, that is still elusive.

I, like Carol, wish to live a good life.  To care for those who are important to me.

I would like to sell my photographs, perhaps as art, perhaps as calendars. Or cards.

I will be published, and I will be successful.  So there 🙂

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