Lilacs at night May 2006

The lilac trees wave and rustle in the faint breeze outside my window. They didn’t bloom this year, and along with the leaves rustling, is the faint crunchy sound of the dead unbloomed blossoms – compliments of a late freeze again.  As I lie on my bed, when the trucks are not driving past our house, the silence is the loudest thing I hear.  Sometimes  I hear too much.  I know I think too much.  Mostly I remember too much.

It has been 6 years since my husband died, right in the same room I am lying in.  Looking at the exact same swirled plaster ceiling above the bed.  Just to the right of the newer light fixture, which when we replaced it, uncovered a circle of pink plaster swirls.  Still haven’t painted that, and I would bet most anything that I never will.  I do have a new bed though, a double.  I am hoping to get my antique bed frame in before winter comes.  It is an old handcrafted frame.  I have had it since I was 20, which means I have had it a LONG time now 🙂  The headboard is worn, there are areas where the wood veneer has split and peeled.  I am hoping to repair it before it comes in and is  put back in service so to speak.  I have saved the many small pieces of veneer in an old 35 mm film canister I kept by my bedside in the drawer .  It is one of those things I have intended to fix “one day”.  And to spare you all, I won’t get started on THAT thought.  I look forward to moving, to not having these recollections in my face 24/7/365.  One day.

For now, as I rest my weary bones, I turn my attention to other things.  The fact that I have trapped one of the three raccoons.  That is one less to worry about.  Still, I have the trap set and ready.  The trapper was by today and he told me he is getting many calls about skunks.  Aghhh !  I will wrap my trap in a black plastic, which is in case a skunk gets caught it won’t be able to spray ME.  Worst thought of the day so far………

Wishing for a vacation on the sound…….one day, once again…. I tell myself, one day.

Paradise - dawn in Port Orchard WA 2009

Enjoy your family, those you love – we never know what tomorrow will bring.