Such weird weather, this was taken in early June 2010

Material things are really only visual cues to our feelings about a certain time , place or person.  When it comes right down to it, the things that we hold dear are embedded in our very being.  Our soul, our memory.  It is those we love, and things we have experienced we can take with us along our way through life.   Our family numbers have decreased dramatically  in the past 20 years.  Mostly to organ failure or straightforward illnesses….one or two to accidents.  Thankfully it has not been the insidious disease process that robs one of their own “self”.  That is I think the worst for the family, to see the loved one slipping away emotionally/mentally.  So sad, no words for that.  My heart breaks for my friend whose mom is at that point.  The strength and courage she has shown for taking care of her mom single handed is inspiring.   Hugs to you my friend 🙂

As those who know me already know, the past years have been very hard.  Death and caretaking has taken a very  heavy toll.  Personal illness and injury.  This is just life though . No worse than any other people I am sure. Then there is the circumstances of illness and weather.  on our family with regards to material possessions.  Moving to a tiny farmhouse with two households and no storage was not thought out.  Not decided on with a direct plan sadly.  For three years now there have been a small tarped pile of boxes on my property.  With the summer’s heat and no weather to interfere, I began taking the pile of boxed belongings apart.  It isn’t like I didn’t know that these boxes were out there, it was just the shock of the final realization that some surprising things were lost and ruined forever.  I am only one person, and have not been a very healthy or strong one at that.  Even asking for help was really beyond my scope………sad but unfortunately true. The first thing I found as a rotted and molded box fell apart at my touch, was a copy of my departed husband’s birth certificate.  The second thing was a copy of our marriage certificate, which I needed very badly to continue a claim.  The third was my son’s vaccination card.  Below that was my inches high stack of calligraphy projects I did as a young woman.  A sketch pad of my drawings.  I was good before my hands got bad. I have the calcification and damaged joints compliments of rheumatoid arthritis.  On my art,  I actually don’t remember being that precise……..oh well.   What did I do ?   I admit it, I cried.  Historically I have lost my treasured items several times.  Once in a move and a very nasty landlord.  Twenty years ago, when I was only a week away from delivering my son, in the middle of summer and it was over 110 degrees, and with only one person helping me – Sheryl, without you and your support I have no doubt that I would never have survived that terrible  summer.  Thank you :)………and now this last time, living here 8 years and having lost so much time and as it turns out irreplaceable things.  I have only begun to go through this stuff, and I know there will be more sad surprises.  I can do it, the “things” are just that.  The memories are safe.

However, on the bright side, I have recovered a lot of my health, which is a boon.  Since my sisters racing accident on her motorcycle last September, we have forged a relationship for the first time.  I have three manuscripts that have to be formatted and edited.  Mom has just really turned the corner since her 5th surgery in 8 years.  She is now bionic !  I know I am making progress, it is just so hard to see the forest for the trees, ya know ?

My friend in the Seattle area reports it is raining and cool today.  Aghhhh, what I would do for some coolness.  Reno has had 34 straight days of over 90 degrees.  One more will tie the record, two more days will set a new record.

Enjoy the day all and appreciate all you have !

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